Hotter Than Hell Roller Derby Match
Who run the world? Girls.
Review
Itchy loves using the phrase ‘get your skates on’, so when we were
invited to watch the Nottingham Hellfire Harlots roller girls do battle
against Newcastle, we jumped, wobbled, stumbled and fell at the chance.
We entered Harvey Hadden Sports Centre and felt the not-so-silent buzz of a potential smack down looming; we half expected Glee’s Sue Sylvester to creep out from the bleachers and abuse us with her megaphone. But instead Itchy’s ears were treated to heavy rock music, and our eyes to fishnets, hot pants, tattoos and glitter; safe to say our jean and jumper combo was bang off trend.
We opted to avoid the ‘suicide seating’ at the side of the track, even though the prospect of a roller girl landing in our laps was tres appealing; we are professional hacks after all and some perks of the job must be avoided.
Being roller derby virgins, Itchy needed our cherry popping, and after a few short demos we got our noggins’ around the rules... if we can understand it then there’s plenty of hope for the rest of us. In a nutshell: five members of each team skate clockwise around the track of terror (not the technical term - that’s how we’d feel out there) with a point scoring ‘jammer’ attempting to lap the other skaters without being blocked by hips that don’t lie or some lovely lady lumps, and possibly showboat a little in the process.
Before the main event, Itchy witnessed a Goths against Glam bout; something which we haven’t seen since out infamous night ‘dahn tahn’ in 2003. These girls mean business; this isn’t TOWIE on wheels, and Itchy only experiences girl power that strong when we listen to our Spice Girls Greatest Hits on a Friday afternoon.
The main event resembled Itchy’s journey to work; frantic, competitive, with a high chance of someone falling over. The Hellfire Harlots took no prisoners, and showed the Newcastle Roller Girls how Nottingham really rolls, by spanking them 162 points to 92. Ouch. We were more than impressed, seeing as the ladies only formed back in 2010.
We left the bout feeling as if girls really did rule the world, and may even don our 1980’s skates for the Harlots open evening on 21st February.
Take our word for it; roller derby’s are 10lbs of fun in a 5lb bag, and the Hellfire girls sure do show a Harlot of fierceness. (Oh no we didn't!)
If you fancy getting a piece of the action, but have zero skating ability a la Itchy, then head on down to Djanogly City Academy at 7pm on Tuesday 21st February for a recruitment session. No experience or equipment needed. If the roller derby was anything to go by you'll have a ruddy good time.
Kelly Holgate
Images by Guy Berresford
We entered Harvey Hadden Sports Centre and felt the not-so-silent buzz of a potential smack down looming; we half expected Glee’s Sue Sylvester to creep out from the bleachers and abuse us with her megaphone. But instead Itchy’s ears were treated to heavy rock music, and our eyes to fishnets, hot pants, tattoos and glitter; safe to say our jean and jumper combo was bang off trend.
We opted to avoid the ‘suicide seating’ at the side of the track, even though the prospect of a roller girl landing in our laps was tres appealing; we are professional hacks after all and some perks of the job must be avoided.
Being roller derby virgins, Itchy needed our cherry popping, and after a few short demos we got our noggins’ around the rules... if we can understand it then there’s plenty of hope for the rest of us. In a nutshell: five members of each team skate clockwise around the track of terror (not the technical term - that’s how we’d feel out there) with a point scoring ‘jammer’ attempting to lap the other skaters without being blocked by hips that don’t lie or some lovely lady lumps, and possibly showboat a little in the process.
Before the main event, Itchy witnessed a Goths against Glam bout; something which we haven’t seen since out infamous night ‘dahn tahn’ in 2003. These girls mean business; this isn’t TOWIE on wheels, and Itchy only experiences girl power that strong when we listen to our Spice Girls Greatest Hits on a Friday afternoon.
The main event resembled Itchy’s journey to work; frantic, competitive, with a high chance of someone falling over. The Hellfire Harlots took no prisoners, and showed the Newcastle Roller Girls how Nottingham really rolls, by spanking them 162 points to 92. Ouch. We were more than impressed, seeing as the ladies only formed back in 2010.
We left the bout feeling as if girls really did rule the world, and may even don our 1980’s skates for the Harlots open evening on 21st February.
Take our word for it; roller derby’s are 10lbs of fun in a 5lb bag, and the Hellfire girls sure do show a Harlot of fierceness. (Oh no we didn't!)
If you fancy getting a piece of the action, but have zero skating ability a la Itchy, then head on down to Djanogly City Academy at 7pm on Tuesday 21st February for a recruitment session. No experience or equipment needed. If the roller derby was anything to go by you'll have a ruddy good time.
Kelly Holgate
Images by Guy Berresford
